quote fingers

i believe that english is the one language that uses what i call 'quote fingers.'  you know what im talking about, when you make the little bunny ears with both hands and bend your fingers.  now, to a native english speaker, quote fingers are a part of everyday life, especially if you are a smart ass (like me and all of my friends).  

quote fingers do not translate.  (please think of using the quote fingers around do and not in aforementioned statement.)

when one is a teacher of level one english students, one must be careful to not use quote fingers.  but one is not careful, especially during an 8 - 10 pm class that one does not actually want to teach, especially after having a very sleepless weekend, followed by an emotional monday morning.  the topic at hand was friends and we were discussing levels of friendship and other friend-related vocabulary.  i used my friend carla in an example.  i said that if i had to describe carla in terms of my korean friendship base, she would be my best friend.  i then said that if i had to classify carla in my entire realm of friends, i would say that she was a close friend.  when i said that she was my best friend, i used the quote fingers to really emphasize the fact that she was considered my best friend cuz we were in korea.  anyway, as you are all native english speakers, im sure you understand and need no more of an explanation.

my students then mocked me and did the quote fingers, asking what it meant.  i proceeded to explain the quote fingers in the simplest of terms.  i said that you use them to emphasize something while you are speaking, just like something could be in quotes in written text.  i also said that oftentimes, quote fingers are used to 'quote' something that you don't agree with or to give something an alternative meaning than what you are really saying.

and then one of my students decided to try it out.

"kendra, so i could say, 'i like steak.'?"  

he put quote fingers around steak.

i gripped my desk and put my head down.  'noooooooooo, do not say that you like (quote/unquote) steak.'

he asked why.

i proceeded to explain that quote fingers tend to be used for very sexual meanings that are not explicitly stated.  i told him that if he went to a restaurant and had a hot waitress and then opted to use quote fingers when he was ordering steak, he just may get slapped.  of course, i then had to explain 'piece of meat' and the conversation easily could have gotten diverted to a far dirtier place.

but as i am a professional and because my mind is so not dirty (um?), i cleaned it back up.  on the way down the elevators, i ran into that class of students and asked the steak guy to tell carla what his favorite piece of meat was.

i must say, some of the lower level classes are really hard and take a lot of energy (which i have been lacking as of late), but sometimes they just crack you up so hard.  they are so innocent and clearly do not understand perverted alternate uses of english.  that only comes with years and year of practice (that i have clearly mastered).

"steak," anyone?