i am a teacher. i am not a surgeon.

and i must keep reminding myself of this fact.

i am a do-it-yourself-er.  i paint my own nails and toes.  i give myself facials and body masks.  i wax my own eyebrows, for crying out loud.  i do not cut or color my own hair, as a self-attempt in paris two years back went extremely awry (not to mention how my self-cut at age five left me with a mangled mess of bangs).  and one thing that i have realized that i must leave to the professionals is surgery.

i gave myself a lovely manicure last thursday night.  i had a hang-nail.  i ripped the little sucker out, figuring it would swell up for a couple days and then disappear.  (mistake #1)  disappear it did not.  it has grown infected and swollen and really quite disgusting over the last few days.  i successfully squeezed out a hot mess of puss the other day, only to wake up the next morning with that hot mess-amount back, and then some.  my finger throbs and it is just painful to look at.  i enjoy having lovely nails, taking pride in the fact that i can give myself one hell of a manicure.  this whole situation kills me.  i look down and i see a gangrenous mass of swollen, puss-y skin.  sorry if you were eating while you read this.

i opted to forgo a google search for 'hang-nail infection home remedies' and headed to the pharmacy on my way home.  the pharmacist spoke a bit of english, thankfully, and she cringed when i showed her my disgusting excuse of a right digit.  she immediately said 'infection comes up' and grabbed a couple packets of pills.  i will take one green and two brown pills four times a day.  i will use a cream on my wound and cover it with a bandage two times a day.  and if all else fails, i will consider amputation.

perhaps i will start going to a professional manicurist from now on.