catch-22

the reason that i choose to live away from the things i know and the people i love is because i want to enrich my life with new experiences and new people.  i tend to meet people whom i wish i could keep with me forever.  if only i could keep a collection of these people in my desk drawer, in much the same manner as i do with postcards or shot glasses, being able to open it up and pull out my foreign-found friends.

i have had many sad, sad airport experiences, knowing that i am leaving behind amazing friends, only left to wonder what could happen if i wasn't leaving.  and that's it.  i always feel like i am leaving.  two months ago, i left my family and friends behind in the states.  i left what i knew because i needed change for me.  i came to korea for me.  it was selfish and i know it, but it was absolutely what i needed.

and i became happy.  i surrounded myself with positive people, wanting much of what i wanted out of life: happiness, love, laughter, lightness.

i have finally settled somewhere.  i have avoided monotony and routine for the last five years.  and then i came to korea and decided to make this my playground for the next two or so years.

and then the catch...someone very, very important to me left.  not due to want, but because of need.  there is so much irony in it all, if i try to wrap my head around it all, i wind up even more confused and saddened than when i initially began.

so i will just say one thing.  thank you for being you and for letting me be me.  until we meet again...