a memory very much blocked...until level 5 class.

this month, almost all of my classes are level ones or lower.  this means that my days are spent explaining how to form simple yes/no and wh- questions.  as thrilling as this may seem, it is really refreshing to actually be able to discuss topics that i enjoy with my students.  the topic of discussion for today was disasters.  we began discussing different kinds of disasters, both natural and man-made.  terrorism was listed under man-made.

terrorism.

a topic that i tend to not think about too much, as it always leads back to my hatred for our current president.  but my students were curious about how a real american felt.  they asked about 9/11.  i told them.

'well, i remember the exact day, what i was doing, where i was.  i was a junior in high school.  it was picture day.  i was wearing a light blue corduroy skirt, white button down, red crewneck pullover sweater.  black knee-highs and grey mary janes.  i was in psychology class with mr. lyons.  it was the first class of my day.  our principal came in the room and pulled out my teacher.  he came back in and turned on the tv.  we watched one of the towers on fire.  then the other plane hit the other tower.  and then they collapsed.  it was pure destruction.  later that day, we saw the plane hit the pentagon.  and then the other plane in pennsylvania.  we didn't do anything in school that day, just watch tv, watch reports, wondering what would be hit next.  the golden gate bridge?  sears tower?  no one knew.  after school, my dad and i drove to pick up my mom and we went to the grocery store.  we bought a lot of sugar and flour and water and things that wouldn't spoil.  the store was really packed with other people doing the same thing.  we made sure to fill up our gas tank.  no one knew what would happen.  it was a day of change in america.  it was scary.  we didn't feel safe anymore.'

as i told my students my description of that day, they listened contently, happy to hear what a real american had to say.  i then discussed my opinions on 9/11 and they seemed very surprised to hear that i did not believe everything the media had been feeding society.  they must really think that every american is complacent and doesn't have enough energy to search for the truth.  

i havent thought about 9/11 in depth for years.  for a few minutes, i actually thought i might cry in class.  it hurt.  i realized that it was a part of me that i hadn't wanted to think about.  i tend to push away memories of relationships, but didn't think i did it for world events.  i felt like someone had stabbed me.  that event had affected me, even though i didn't quite realize the magnitude.

class was pretty depressing.  i think i will bring them a video or something happy next week.  

the session is halfway done.  its going really quickly, albeit seemingly long at times, due to my having to explain things over and over to every level one class.  i think ill stay two years.  two years with a couple months off in between.  paris or barcelona for a few weeks would be lovely...