yeuido flower festival

i used to give a fuck.

mama mia.  today is a day that i fucking hate this country and every person originating from it.  fucking hell.

i hate the traffic.  i hate the people who stop in the middle of the road to check a text message.  i hate how i walk down my street and have to simultaneously dodge little old crippled ladies with canes and big soju delivery trucks that are ready to run me over.  i hate how bus drivers suck and are really aggressive and i hate how little old people give you dirty looks if you are sitting down, while they do not bat an eyelash at the koreans who are younger than myself.  i hate the smell of kimchi, especially when it is the smell of kimchi eaten two hours ago with samgipsal and it comes out when i am speaking to someone, trying to get them to understand what the fuck im talking about.  i hate how every girl in this country wears high heels every bloody day, yet none of them appear to have mastered the art of walking in said shoes.  i will trip them.  don't piss me off anymore, ladies.  you will end up headfirst in the concrete.  i hate dirty old men drunk off soju who give me dirty oogling looks as i walk by.  christ, i am most likely walking by in sweaty gym clothes and look like complete rubbish.  i hate how i walk into my gym's locker room and see fat old ajoumas naked, standing in front of the mirror, drying their hair.

i hate pretending that i care and that i am happy.  what was happiness has turned into monotony.  i rush about, trying to get everything fit into my days, yet i feel like nothing has actually been accomplished.  the copious amounts of trivial errands i seem to run mean nothing, add up to nothing, yet need to be done.

maybe i can buy a really cheap island and live there forever.  monkeys could be my friends.

fucking hell.  june cannot come quickly enough.  

i won something related to sports.

yes friends, that's right, pussycat has won the ncaa march madness bracket at her job.  40,000 won, baby!  and now, you ask, exactly how did i pick the winning teams?

well, that is simple.  

i picked the teams that had the prettier jerseys.

north carolina is baby blue.  not much can beat that.

i wore hot pink pants to work today.  i don't think i have been made fun of that much since i was, well actually, im not really sure when.  but i wore them with pride.  

oh, and skin-colored sheer socks were required (the pants are capris).  i generally do not venture into the pants/skirt/capris world that require skin-colored socks (i find them tacky and prefer to just go with a bare leg), but as my work is professional, i felt that it would be naughty to not wear socks.  i threw a pair of black stockings in my bag and left for work.  i walked towards the bus stop, and decided to stop at a convenience store, as stockings are one strange thing one might find at a convenience store.

gs-25 you saved my professionalism this morning.  nothing says class-ay like wearing 1,000 won socks.  saweet.

i actually felt tacky wearing these socks.  they were kind of shimmery.  everything in korea is shimmery.  you would die if you saw men's ties here.  one of my students wore a light teal tie with little pink horses on it.  wait, sparkly pink horses.

i bet he gets all the ladies.  what woman wouldn't just fall for sparkly pink horses?

oh wait, this one.

red green would be so proud.

korea is getting warm.  because of this, i opted to keep my laundry rack outside on my little balcony, rather than bring it inside like i normally do when it is cold.  my balcony area is small and requires a bit of stomach-suckage-in to get around when my laundry rack is up and covered in clothes.  there is this big orange tube that runs from my washing machine through a hole in the ground to the place where dirty laundry water goes.  

i accidentally stepped on said tube while i was hanging up clothes.  i heard a little crack.

'shit shit shit do i have to go talk to crazy betty and her crazier father?'  

crazy father is my landlord and crazy betty is his english-speaking daughter.  she is kind of bitchy.  i make all efforts to avoid her.  crazy father is cute, as he speaks no english, yet he still speaks to me like i speak perfect korean.  i smile and wave and nod and give him the benefit of the doubt that i do know what the fuck he is talking about by pretending and feigning interest.

i finished hanging up my clothes.  i examined the tube.  there was a small crack.  this clearly would be a problem without repair, as the dirty laundry water drains to somewhere through this cracked tube.

and then it came to me.

'i bet i can duct-tape this right up!'  i said this aloud.

i came inside and dug around in the drawer that has accumulated loads of random types of tape, all left from previous owners.  i found a roll of some sort of plastic-y/rubbery tape, as well as some brown packaging tape.  i figured that these two combined would, perhaps, save me from crazy betty.  i went back to the balcony, crouched down, and began to roll the tape around the tube.  it looks like a big orange snake that was wounded in battle and has a big yellowish/brownish bandage.

i will try it out next week when i do laundry.

i quite enjoy macgyver-ing things up.  i did a real dandy job on my toilet a couple weeks ago.

holy jesus its april

what, you like the way i walk?

korea has been a first for many things.  my first job, my first trip to asia, my first taste of kimchi, my FIRST FASHION SHOW!!!

it is fashion week in seoul and the husband of a friend of a friend was able to get tix for me and said friend, but she was unable to go, so i took another friend and had a blast.  we went to the fall/winter 09 collection for moon young hee, apparently a somewhat famous korean designer (i had no idea who she was).  but we had vip tix and were able to snag third row seats, close to where the models come out.  the clothes were unique, lots of blacks and somber colors, yet there were several contrasting white numbers.  the show had a somewhat dreary, depressing feel, yet still pretty dope to be there.  

there were a couple korean movie stars there (again, no idea who they were). 

i want to be in the fashion industry.  it was so exciting, so much energy.  so superficial, but oh so fun.

and while we are on the topic of fashion and all things trite, i was mistaken for a fashion designer this afternoon.  and i got kicked out of a store for it.  there is this lovely purse store, rabeanco, across from my salon.  i have been in three or four times and love their bags.  i am just not sure which one i want, and that is why i have left without a bag three or four times.  i walked in today to get mj's opinion on a bag (we had a trip to the salon, as it was my day off).  the lady started talking to mj and soon the conversation had escalated to a rather loud voice.  she was yelling at mj and telling her that we were stealing design ideas.  mj said we were just looking.  the woman said, 'fine buy a bag right now and get out.'  i was just wandering around, clueless as to what was going on.  pretty soon we had been kicked out.

obviously, i am the designer and mj is my translator.  and i make imitation bags.  cuz we all know my love for fake bags.

wow, i think i was mistaken for the worst possible thing ever: an imposter bag designer.

mon dieu.  i must go  back and give her my card and say that i really am a teacher.

it was amazing, though.  i've never been treated so poorly, even in the states.  koreans are generally quite friendly.  actually, they generally kiss my foreign (and therefore, rich) ass.  i had plenty of won to spend there, but guess ill just have to take it elsewhere.

this is not done.  mj is the korean equivalent of me.  my motto is 'kendra wins.'  mj will win this battle.  she is the best complainer i know, better than yours truly.

mj and kendra will win.

woohoo fashion rocks.