i hate apples for being red.

blah blah blah i feel weird.

i was eating breakfast this morning and felt quite happy, knowing that it was friday and also that the session was almost done.  i was nearly done with my cereal, though, and i thought it was gonna come back up.  i have no idea, but i suddenly began to feel queasy and have remained that way for much of the day.  i went to the gym tonight and had no appetite whatsoever when i returned home.  three hours later, i still dont.  

and i just feel odd, off.  feel a tad lost.  ive been here a bit over 5 months and it just seems to be slumping.  the thing is, this is probably the easiest month ive had so far.  im not working any overtime, i've been working out a lot, ive had time to enjoy myself.  but now, hmmm, i just don't feel quite right.

i was reading old posts earlier and was amused to read how i thought i would stay two or more years here.  how quickly that changed.  i like korea, dont get me wrong, but i just dont know if i could do this much longer and still remain sane and happy.  i know i couldn't.  

oh well.  im going shopping tomorrow with one of my favorite students.  i imagine this is nothing a little retail therapy can't cure.

lotte wizzorld

a perfect little day. :)

i woke up with a headache.  i felt annoyed.  something was off.  i ate breakfast, cleaned my apartment, and went to the gym.  i killed myself on the stair machine.  the ajoumas were doing their stripper dance class.  it was, as always, quite entertaining.  i came home and got clean.

i left around 1.  it was a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky and probably close to 70.  i decided it would be a perfect saturday to spend by the cheongyecheon stream getting a tan.  i opted to walk there to get a little more exercise and a lot more sun.  i was about halfway there when i was waiting to cross a street and a random jamaican guy decided to introduce himself to me.  he seemed ok so i introduced myself.  shortly thereafter, i realized he was annoying and was a burden on my perfect little day.  i simply cannot be bothered to entertain annoying people i will never see again on my day off.  i texted carla that she should call me on her break and sound frantic and rescue me.  she soon called and i tried to be the best little actress that i possibly could be.  i said i had to run into work for my sick co-worker and i trotted off down the street.  i ducked into work, but only to use the bathroom, and then snuck off to starbucks for an iced americano.  every time i left a building, i felt like a spy, checking left and right to see if annoying jamaican was there.  

i pranced down to the cheongyecheon, found a place to perch myself for awhile, and began to sun myself.  i wrote for a bit, then turned to read a book.  the sun was glorious.  while the koreans were hiding in the shade, covering up their skin with long clothing, i was basking in the sun, making all attempts to become even the slightest bit bronzed.  a young korean guy, maybe a new uni student, approached me and in very poor english, asked something about a picture.  i assumed he wanted me to take a picture of him and his friends so i said sure.  he said thank you thank you and then started to pose with me.  i was like, um, wait, you want a picture with me?  i posed, threw up a peace sign, and went back to my reading.

i texted this to carla.

she said i should start charging.

his friends probably bet him that he couldn't get a picture with the giant waeguk.  

i soon wandered along the stream until i was at the end of it.  i made my way back towards lotte.  normally i hate crowds and purposely stay away from lotte on the weekend.  but today was different.  lotte was busy, but i didn't really care.  i wandered around there for awhile, then headed to myengdong for a bit of window shopping.  myengdong was pretty busy and i was a little annoyed, so i went to kyobo.  kyobo, as always, was insanely busy, but i found a bit of solace in the foreign book section.  i love bookstores.  they are the most tranquil places on earth.  i picked up a book, 'story of o.'  it is an english translation of a french book and it is about sex and paris.  i read the first couple pages and found it necessary to purchase.  i look forward to reading this while it is raining in seoul tomorrow.

i sauntered down jongno street, back towards work, to pick up carla for dinner.  we had a lovely boribap dinner and then i made my way home on the bus.  i just ate an ice cream fish.  i am content and relaxed.  it is amazing what sun and fresh air can do for one's spirit.

and the best part?  

i get to do it all over again tomorrow.

i love not working on saturdays!

the things i see at my gym...

last weekend, it was ajouma stripper class.

today, kindergarten belly dance class, complete with bright yellow, sequined, gauzy middle eastern belly dance garb.  

jigga what?

i was on the star machine, dripping with sweat.  i looked at the dance studio to my right.  i saw a little girl and her mother talking to a young woman.  said young woman is said little girl's belly dance instructor.

the thing is, the little girl was GOOD.  she sashayed around the studio like a stripper would sashay around on a stage.  she had the moves down, including the twirling of a sheer yellow piece of fabric.  she would twirl it around her head, make a little thing to peek out of, then seduce you with her eyes as she peered through the sheerness.

did i mention this chick was like five?

i thought koreans were conservative.  i never would call a 5-year old sexy, especially not a 5-year old korean girl.  

when she gets to high school, her parents will regret their decision to enroll her in belly dance lessons.  oh will they be sorry.  but one young lad will be quite happy...

the best konglish t-shirts.

i walked into my writing class last thursday and saw that one of my students had on a shirt with a picture of a girl.  little rhinestones crowned the girl's head, and below her face it had her name.  

'rindsay.'

without a doubt, this was meant to say 'lindsay,' as in 'lindsay lohan.'

if only the shirt had said her last name, too.

'rindsay rohan.'

i was walking home from the gym tonight and i saw a kid i have seen before.  at least i have seen his shirt before.

'i dont need life.  im high on drugs.'

priceless.

i need both of these shirts.

subway girl #1

when i lived in paris, one of the best parts of my day was taking the metro for 45 minutes in the morning and 45 minutes at night.  i am a people watcher and while in france, you have many interesting, engaging people to snoop at on the subway.  ill never forget how i played flirty-eyes on a tuesday with an incredibly sexy french man for about ten metro stops, and then had a re-match with said man again on wednesday.  i swore that if we went for three, i would give him my number.  i never did see him again, but his memory lives on.  ill also never forget the random woman who had about 20 butterfly clips in her relatively short hair.  i stared at her head for about 15 minutes, pondering what on earth those clips were holding up.

now that i live in korea and the bus is a quicker way for me to commute, i miss out on a lot of interesting subway folk.  whenever i do take the subway, generally on weekends when im shopping in hongdae, ewha, or itaewon, i always peer at a plethora of riders, searching for that one unique soul to watch more in depth.  but the thing that differentiates koreans from europeans is that their faces are generally more expression-less.  their faces appear blank.  ive been told by students that my face is very expressive and that my eyes could tell a story without actually opening my mouth.  ive never considered this part of my personality, as ive always told stories by opening my mouth.  this occurs far too often.

regardless of my expressive face, koreans tend to remain to themselves, avoiding eye contact with strangers.  i mention this because i became accustomed to playing the flirty eyes game on the subway in france.  perhaps it is ok, as i generally do not find korean men overly attractive and would prefer to not play flirty eyes and then have some psycho dude follow me.  i get myself in enough trouble as is, i don't need to bring any more upon myself.  

i went to hongdae this morning to check out a travel agency.  i needed a quote on a ticket to europe.  i ran to lotte mart for groceries after, finishing my shopping quickly, so as to avoid the madness that becomes of lotte mart on a saturday afternoon.  i ran down to line 4 and was met with a massive crowd of people.  'shit, def not gonna get a seat,' i thought.  when the train arrived, nearly empty, i was rather happy to sit down for the next 8 stops.  no one overly interesting was on the train.  there was an old man who looked like a duck.  he was a people watcher, just like yours truly, and he was certainly watching one pussycat.  i peered back at him, wondering if he really was a korean.  koreans dont usually look like ducks.  there was another old man, who stared out of the corner of his eyes, looking towards the ceiling.  it was almost as if he was looking into the heavens.  his eyes seemed sad, appeared to almost want to cry.  

the people were rather dull.  then along came a girl, about 20, who just had a presence about her.  she was in boys jeans, some funky english tshirt, and a bright red shiny sporty jacket.  her eyes were insane.  big and colored in with green and black eyeliners and shadows.  her appearance was one thing, but her attitude and regard for life was certainly another.  she simply did not give a fuck.  she sat slouched in the second seat from the door, and when the person closest to the door left, she lazily grabbed the side bar and pulled herself over to the end seat.  it was like she couldn't be surrounded by people, for they would exhaust her too much.  one person on her left simply was enough.  she seemed pissed off at the world, yet still had this strange sense of calm.  it was like a man had done her wrong, yet she had shown the son of a bitch by posting naughty messages on his best friend's cyworld page.  

she wasn't like most koreans.  most korean women are proper.  they sit up straight, are neat and tidy, conservative.  she slouched, wore dark makeup, didn't care.  a group of middle-school girls got on the subway, yelling and running around, taking pictures with their cell phones.  this girl looked perturbed, wondering how anyone could be so silly and immature.  maybe she was high.  who knows.  all i know is that she was an interesting character, enough for me to deem it necessary to write about her.  

people watching: one of my favorite hobbies.  i feel that it is my civic duty to perform this hobby diligently, especially because i am constantly watched wherever i go.  little old men and ladies peer at this 'mee-guk,' wondering what she is up to.

relax, im not going to steal your kimchi.

politically incorrect?

or too much funny?

watch this video...

...and watch for the big plastic visors.  ive seen women actually wearing these.  remember, it is cool to be bleached white in korea...

kickin it in gumcheon

cities made of ashes.

man, today was a day meant for all things illegal.  except that all things illegal are really, really illegal in korea and are, therefore, really illegal (not to mention, impossible) to get.  motherfucker, i was a shit teacher today.  yesterday was monday and i was a rockstar.  today is a tuesday and i was far less than decent.  far from even being mediocre.  i found myself being explaining something to my classes, yet while i was talking, i was thinking, 'god i suck i should just say fuck it and tell them to read the book they'd get more from it than me god i suck i should just go home.'  when i have this little mental tantrums in class, i always fear that i will actually say the aforementioned schpeel to my students, whose eyes would meet mine with looks of bewilderment and utter confusion.  sometimes i just want to say, 'talk in english i dont give a shit what you talk about just talk in english ok thank you.'

i think im getting sick.  its quarter past 4 and i think i want to take a shower and just go to sleep.  end the day.  i pity the students who have me as a teacher.  english?  what is that?  i cant teach that.  blah blah blah.  english?  english who?  is that someone's name?  someone i hate, i bet.

i watch the nbc nightly news.  my eyes are met with confusion and bewilderment.  i read the nytimes.  my eyes, again, do not know what they read.  i wonder what i will do.  this crisis is global.  i have a job in the midst of it all.  i have job security.  if i want to stay a second year, i can.  if i go back to the states, i will have no job.  the only way i will go back is for education.  i cannot find a job.  do i stay in korea?  do i move to japan in a few months?  south america?  do i just say fuck it and blow the money i've saved traveling the world while flights and lodging is relatively inexpensive?  

mon dieu.

how the hell did we get into this mess?

84 days til spain.

two words.

fuck yeah.

red vinyl? at the gym?

as recently posted, i joined a gym last week.  as a dedicated member of the body star gym, i have gone everyday except for one in the past week.  it's great.  the guy who signed me up is very cute and always says hello.  in fact, all of the trainers are quite attractive and always say hello, as i am the tall token foreigner that they deemed necessary to say hello to.  when i signed up, mr. cutie cute asked if i wanted to pay an extra 30 bucks for three months to add on all the wonderful dance and aerobics classes i could handle.  i declined, knowing that my ability to take dance classes in english, let alone korean, is quite weak.  i've taken yoga in french.  that was a one time deal.  korean yoga or hip-hop classes?  sorry, i may want to climb a mountain, but i am not nearly that adventurous.

while i was on the stair machine, dripping with sweat, listening to some rihanna to distract myself, i noticed one of these classes was taking place.  now, when i was in madison, i would always watch people taking classes while i was in the cardio room.  i would chuckle to myself.  it's funny.  but nothing at the serf was ever like this class.  perhaps it was titled, 'hip hop for ajoumas.'  (ajoumas are these old bitchy korean ladies.  they have short permed hair and have no qualms about pushing you out of the way on the street.  ajoumas are annoying.)  i couldn't believe the number of old ladies busting a move, flailing their arms around, thrusting their hips.  perhaps they are doing it for their sex lives.  who knows?  

there was one woman in particular who i couldn't help but notice, and perhaps, gawk at a bit.  right in the front, she was dressed in bright red plastic pants.  we're talking vinyl, pleather, plastic here.  i don't care how hip-hoppy i want to feel, i would never wear pleather pants to an exercise class, especially not red pleather pants.  her poor legs must have turned into prunes after taking said class.  pleather does not breathe.  if memory serves me correctly, she had on some skanky black top, fully equipped with sequins and several strange straps that appeared to serve no apparent purpose.  

this was not the only woman dressed for the part.  i saw several 'sexy' ajouma tops.  i wonder where they get this stuff.  do they go to dongdaemun and find the trashiest vendor.  if i was going to take a hip-hop class, i'd be in adidas track pants and maybe a beater.  that's about as ghetto as i would push myself in the gym.  maybe i would get some big ice to add a bit to the track pants.

perhaps i am mistaken.  perhaps it was a stripper class, which would mean the red vinyl was only appropriate.

ajouma stripper class.  

i think i will go vomit.

or as is translated to konglish, 'i will go overeat.'

kendra ambush. koreans never knew americans could look so bad...

noraebang at 2 pm? sure, why not.

first...students. now...friends.

i am not a fat american.

i joined a gym tonight.  my darling fake boyfriend brandon took me to 'body star' (oh la la), a quite fancy gym (i somewhat prefer the serf, it is less intimidating) that i now belong to for three months.  the only foreigner in a sea of koreans, i feel scared and nervous and perhaps would prefer to starve myself than to work out there.

the gym man asked my friend brandon if i worked out.  i think the gym man believes that i have never worked out in my life.  yes it has been a few months since a real hard workout, but i would beg to differ if someone said that i was a fat tub of lard.  i am not retarded.  i have been on exercise equipment before, albeit a few months ago.  if only the gym man had been to america to witness how big foreigners really are.  

i am a do it yourselfer.  i do not like to be pestered.  i hope that no helpful gym people deem it necessary to help me tomorrow.  i prefer to be alone with my ipod whilst at the gym.  

there are some pretty attractive korean men there, though.  i never knew that korean men could have bulging biceps.  none of my students do, at least that i can tell from their skin tight shirts.  perhaps this is where all the attractive men are kept.

6 am tomorrow.  i have a date with the body star.  i hope it is quiet so i can make a fool of myself where none can see.