siamese twin pussycats strike seoul!

namsan tower!

autumn in korea :D

sometimes your words just hypnotize me.

as of late, ive had a lot on my mind. where to go next, what to do, how to feel about leaving korea, leaving friends, leaving the life that ive made my own this past year. i've been stressed. i've been running about, packing, tearing my apartment apart, shopping for christmas presents, blah blah blah. i've been a crazy, relatively neurotic woman.

i got home tonight, pissed off, tired, irritated.

i forced myself to go to the gym. i forced myself to listen to crazy loud fast music and sweat out my stress. after 40 minutes on the stair machine (eek), i opted for a nice walk to cool down. i was flipping through some 90s classics i just downloaded, switching between some biggie and britney.

i finished my walk and opted to switch from biggie to mr. big. it got me thinking more, of course, as pretty much every song from my past reminds me of something and brings back a flood of memories.

i went in the locker room, put on my uggs, and headed out the door. a lovely ajouma waited while i put on my boots, holding the locker room door open. 'kamsa hamnida' i said in my best korean pronunciation. she smiled and we had a moment. i've been having many moments at my gym as of late. i dont think ive ever seen this woman before, but she made me smile a very much needed smile.

mr. big ended and my ipod fell silent. but then i heard it again. 'i'm the one who wants to be with you...' um, wtf i thought. i pulled out my earbud. it was playing in the gym. it had probably started about 60 seconds after my version of it began. what are the odds? was it just a random coincidence? does this mean something?

who knows. but it certainly made me smile. it made me give a little wink to the higher power that seems to be having a jolly time pulling on my puppet strings nowadays.

366 days.

i have done it. i have made it one year in korea. well, minus one month in spain and france, but with all due respect, that one month was absolutely necessary for me to actually make it to the one year mark. looking back, had i not taken vaca, i would have either sucked it up, whined, and finished another 5 months of classes OR i would have quit. the latter is the option more likely to have occurred.

so here i am, still in seoul, one year later. i've certainly learned a lot, but what blog post would actually say that they've become dumber or haven't learned anything after one year? of course i've learned things. so i won't talk about what i've learned cuz i dont even know where to begin.

but i will talk about my relationship with korea. i can't even describe it. its certainly a love/hate relationship, which usually sides more with hate. i started out loving it - that lasted about three months. then i hated it, really fucking bloody hated it for about four months. then i left. then i came back and knew i had five months left, so i just kind of became ambivalent and didn't give two shits about anything. then somewhere in that time, i'm sure some ajoushi or ajouma pissed me off and i began to hate korea again. and the cycle continues. love hate love hate love annoying ajouma gives dirty look hate again. and how do i stand one year after the fact. well yesterday was one year and i just kind of felt neutral. like i've come to peace with korea. i don't regret coming, but i am looking forward to moving on. i've met great people this past year and there will be some things i miss. i will miss carla, my best mate here. i will miss our stupid, very cruel comments that only me and her understand completely. i will not miss the, 'wow you're tall' comments. no shit. really? thanks, i forgot that i was tall, good thing there are people like you on earth to remind me. i don't know what else ill miss, but im sure when i am home and am completely out of this life, things will pop up that i will miss. but right now, i miss things about america. i miss my parents. i miss my bed, oh sweet jesus my glorious bed. i miss cheese.

anyway, so as to avoid becoming a rambling post, i will end this. happy one year anniversary with korea. i will not stay longer to see anniversary number 2.

HAHAHAH 53 days left!!!!!!!!!!!

lots of love from jeju