sex in korea

i have been in korea for just over twelve hours and it appears that i already have a theme: SEX. (no, mother, im not getting any.) and here is my tale...it does not begin so tantalizingly scandalous. desolée.

my supervisor met me about an hour after my plane landed. as i was rather jet-lagged and one could call me more or less retarded, i did not realize that i had to fill out a stupid entry card, nor did i know where to pick up said card, and as i approached the immigration worker, i was informed that i had to go pick up and fill out this card in the most obvious of locations. said immigration worker must have felt that i was more along the retarded lines. no using the jet-lag excuse with him.

after i stood in line for another twenty five minutes, i made it through customs and went to find my luggage. i walked through the declaration place, only to be met with suspicious glances after i said, “no, i’m not declaring anything.” when one walks through the declaration area with four large suitcases and has nothing to declare, interrogating looks can only be expected. i more or less scurried through, hoping and praying (to whom im not sure) that no one would stop me and have to go through my stuff. whew. nothing. i met my supervisor, found our bus, and made our way into the city. 

as it was a friday night, it took rather long to get into town. this was nice, as i was able to get a lot of information about the city and school from my supervisor. he brought me to my hotel, which is where the sex part began. now, in america, people go to hotels to have affairs. in korea, people go to ‘love hotels’ to just have sex. sure, there are probably some affairs involved in these establishments, but as most young people live with their parents until they are married, they need a place to have sex. and the love hotel comes into place. a couple will rent a room for an hour or two (or maybe three or four) to have their hot and wild sex. an english teacher’s school will rent a said room for a week or two so that said teacher can have a place to rest her weary bones. 

my love room is rather simple, yet with more amenities than one would expect a room-built-for-sex to have. as i plunked into bed last night, however, i did find myself quivering at the thought of sleeping in love fluids. the bed is quite hard, making me realize why people come in, get the job done, and leave. i did get a lovely little gift, a small box of condoms, on the table next to my bed. it is a lovely box with a drawing of a korean-looking woman in a purple bandeau bra, holding a dove on her finger while standing by an open window, overlooking a grassy field. the actual condoms have writing in korean. haha this is my first korean souvenir!

i woke up at 3:22 am. i checked my email. a korean friend of mine whom i will meet later today had emailed me with plans. she had said that she hoped i had a nice dream on my first night in korea. i know i dreamt, although the only dreams i can remember are 1) someone identifying me as an atheist and being proud of it, and 2) someone burning down part of my grandma’s house. funny how i had no hot sex dreams...

i fell back asleep until 7:30 and felt that would be ok to start getting off my jet-lag. so i turned on my tv to see what korean tv is like. flipping through the channels, i found that everything was (big surprise here) in korean. it’s interesting, though, most stations have the audio in korean, but they also have subtitles in korean script. i found a couple stations that have english lessons. and then i hit the motherload. free korean porn. call me a teenager, but i definitely giggled a little. and yes, i did watch for a couple minutes. they certainly do it the same way in korea.

i began my task of unpacking my life. as i tired of listening to korean, i started flipping through the channels again. i watched a bit of a french movie, dubbed into english, of course. it was not magnifique, so i went up one channel and hit the motherload of sex: SEX AND THE CITY. in english. and it was the episode where carrie has bad jackrabbit sex. even though i am 7,000 miles away (it might be more, i really have no idea), my life can still have some sense of normalcy. 

and as for now, i will try not to contract any diseases as i take a shower/bath...there is no shower curtain, i could easily create a flood. and then who knows...i’m in korea.

HOLY SHIT IM IN KOREA!