i used to give a fuck.

mama mia.  today is a day that i fucking hate this country and every person originating from it.  fucking hell.

i hate the traffic.  i hate the people who stop in the middle of the road to check a text message.  i hate how i walk down my street and have to simultaneously dodge little old crippled ladies with canes and big soju delivery trucks that are ready to run me over.  i hate how bus drivers suck and are really aggressive and i hate how little old people give you dirty looks if you are sitting down, while they do not bat an eyelash at the koreans who are younger than myself.  i hate the smell of kimchi, especially when it is the smell of kimchi eaten two hours ago with samgipsal and it comes out when i am speaking to someone, trying to get them to understand what the fuck im talking about.  i hate how every girl in this country wears high heels every bloody day, yet none of them appear to have mastered the art of walking in said shoes.  i will trip them.  don't piss me off anymore, ladies.  you will end up headfirst in the concrete.  i hate dirty old men drunk off soju who give me dirty oogling looks as i walk by.  christ, i am most likely walking by in sweaty gym clothes and look like complete rubbish.  i hate how i walk into my gym's locker room and see fat old ajoumas naked, standing in front of the mirror, drying their hair.

i hate pretending that i care and that i am happy.  what was happiness has turned into monotony.  i rush about, trying to get everything fit into my days, yet i feel like nothing has actually been accomplished.  the copious amounts of trivial errands i seem to run mean nothing, add up to nothing, yet need to be done.

maybe i can buy a really cheap island and live there forever.  monkeys could be my friends.

fucking hell.  june cannot come quickly enough.