konglish

i could write posts on a daily basis about funny moments in my classes.  these moments all revolve around a wonderful concept esl teachers like to call 'konglish.'  a mix of korean and english, konglish does not really make sense, yet it makes perfect sense.  once one gets behind the logic, it is possible to understand where a korean speaker is coming from.  language learning is tricky, and highly entertaining for the teacher.  for example...

'owing the government ten million dollars' was written on a worksheet about stress.  one of my students read this, looked up at me with wide and very serious eyes, and said, 'owing...is that what an american pig says?'  i looked at him, somewhat confused, and said, 'oink, that is what american pigs say.'  he said 'owing, owing,' over and over.  i died laughing.  he made certain to clarify that korean pigs say something else.

in that same class, a bit earlier, we were reading a dialogue that used pronouns that start with 'h.'  in english, we often do not say the 'h' sound, leading non-native speakers to a confused state, wondering what "give it to 'im" really means.  the first statement read, 'where is your brother?' to be followed by, 'he is in bed.'  after the entire dialogue was read, aforementioned student looked at me (again with wide and very serious eyes) and said, 'what!  he is dead?'  'no, he is in bed.'

i completely lost my composure for two or three minutes.  i tried to begin teaching again, not able to completely pull myself together.  i am not one to say that i was 'in stitches,' as i think that is a rather lame idiom, but dear lord, i was in stitches.  i thought it was my job to make my students laugh and feel comfortable.  instead, i was the one really laughing (which, in turn, made my students go crazy laughing).

a bit later, the topic of having children arose.  i said that i didn't ever want children because it would be too difficult.  one of my other students looked at me and said, 'you are young.  he is vegetable.'  (korean speakers often say 'he' instead of 'she.')  the 'he,' in reference to yours truly, combined with my being a vegetable, left me absolutely speechless, gasping for breath between holding my red face in my hands.  

this class certainly is not uncomfortable with me as a teacher.  

and i certainly will miss this class.